It's not a cold

A cold is an inadequate moniker

for what happens when your head

feels like a brand new aspirin bottle

stuffed with unnecessary cotton

and everyone around you

sounds like a grown up

in a Peanuts cartoon special

and you yourself sound like

Kermit wearing a Darth Vader mask

if snot were a currency

you would use every last cent

to buy a new nose

you would be poor but happy

because breathing easy is priceless

it's not a cold

it's a bummer