Me and Mary

I sit alone on Christmas Eve

a blanket over my knees

plain bread stick in my hand

the nausea set in

before we even left for the restaurant

an hour more on the hump

in the backseat didn't help

I stand in the bathroom

patting my face with cold water

begging my body to give me a break

it's Christmas Eve for heaven's sake

and my husband and his family

have all been sat at a table

near the window

for a celebratory meal

before anyone can order

I excuse myself to the car

fighting the putrid waves in my stomach

and the tears in my throat

the anxiety creeping in

doesn't know it's not welcome

especially not on holidays

but as I sit in the sedan

nibbling Italian bread

I notice the lights

on the old fashioned lampposts

they are rooting for me

and the glowing star

atop a tree near the stop sign

winks at me

everyone has off days

the storefronts assure me

no matter how many "special" signs

you post in the window

sometimes people just aren't buying

and sometimes the body

just wants a day off

from the Christmas spirit

I suppose Mary must've felt

pretty darn overwhelmed

with all of those people

cramming the streets and hotels

I imagine her waking along this main street

pointing out the mattress store to Joseph

maybe we can sleep here

it's closed but the beds look so inviting

I want to tell her she can sit

in the bucket seat beside me

I have some extra bread

and even an old blanket in the trunk

my Papa always said you never know

when you might need

an extra blanket in the car

I smile right now, finally reaping

the reward of his wisdom

Me and Mary

away from the crowd

just a couple of girls

far from home

hoping Christmas will come soon